On this episode of The SHAIR Podcast we interview Sophie, who with only 1 year and 10 months clean and sober, takes us through her amazing battle against drugs and alcohol. Sophie is 31 years old and used for 16 years of her life.
She started out at the age of 13 smoking pot with her neighbor and graduated to drinking, ecstasy, and Xanax by the age of 16. At 19 she falls in love and at the same time adds cocaine to her roster of drug use. The story turns tragic when her boyfriend dies of cancer and Sophie spirals out of control. On this podcast interview, Sophie shares in detail the unbelievable series of events that followed her boyfriend’s death… arrested multiple times, rehab, and bankruptcy…until her journey into recovery saves her life. A real life Hollywood story…don’t miss this episode!
Here are Sophie G.’s SHAIR Podcast interview highlights and suggestions for the Newcomer:
Clean Date: 12/20/2012
Sophie: Fear of the unknown, when you’ve got a whole bunch of people being nice to you in the meetings that’s pretty scary. Why are all of these people being nice to me? Why do they want to help me? I don’t even know them! I’m crazy, don’t they know? You see people at the meetings and you’re like “there’s no way in hell I can be as chipper as they are”. Their story is bullshit. I don’t believe their story. Well… I believe it now.
At what point did you have a spiritual awakening…that “aha” moment in recovery when you accepted that you were powerless over drugs and alcohol and for the first time had developed hope that you could recover?
Sophie: In a woman’s meeting I heard a story from a girl that made me cry. The girl talked about how she just wanted everybody to leave her the fuck alone and she just wanted to get high and she’s in tears at this point. I so identified with her at that moment, but I’m clean now. I remember that feeling, but it was an old feeling, not a current one. At that moment I realized in that meeting that I had to keep going with this, because I looked at her and I was like, “She’s miserable. I don’t want to be miserable anymore”. I tell myself I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I’ve got to keep going in this direction.
What is the best suggestion you have ever received?
Suggestion’s for the Newcomer!
“Stay in the middle of the boat!”
Sophie: Two actually, it’s “Meeting makers make it” that was embedded in my brain and also “stay in the middle of the boat”. This guy with many years clean, his name is Bruce, told me “stay in the middle of the boat Sophie. If you surround yourself with people that actually want this, you’re good.” I would recommend to somebody who is new that when you go to meetings don’t go to meetings to be that popular person, that’s high school shit. That fucked me up to begin with. Like I said earlier, I went to the meetings and I met these girls that actually had clean time, that in my mind were clean cut, more than 60 days and I stuck around them and I would go to lunch with them or go to dinner or call them on the phone.
Now they’re my friends and I feel like we have a unit and a bond and it’s strong. I think if you go into the meeting and you surround yourself with a lot of new comers or a lot of people who just want to be “cool” it could be a bad thing for you and it doesn’t have to be. It can be great. You’ve just got to stay in the middle of the boat, around people who are going to be there to help you in case you fall out of the boat. Hopefully you don’t, but that’s the best thing. You’ve got to stay in the middle of the boat.
If you could impart only one suggestion to a new comer, what would it be? It sounds like it would be stay in the middle of the boat.
Sophie: Exactly, when you’re a new comer, go to the meetings. If you’re at a fucking meeting it’s because you need help. You don’t just go for fun. If you’re a newcomer, take advantage of it and just meet some solid people. They might tell you stuff that you don’t want to hear, but that’s the shit that you need to hear. You’re not going there to make friends. You’re going there to save your life!
Of all the meetings you have attended anywhere in the world, which group is your favorite and where is that group located?
Sophie: Well of course my home group is in Costa Rica, it’s the Vigilance Group in Sabana Sur. They saved my life.
Thanks again for your SHAIR Sophie!
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Disclaimer – The opinions shared on this show reflect those of the individual speaker and not of any 12 step fellowship as a whole and though we discuss 12 step recovery and the impact it has had in our lives we do not promote or endorse any 12 step anonymous program.